This past weekend I attended a concert of classical Hindustani music at Amma's ashram. What started as a wrestling match in my mind between conflicting desires ended up teaching me critical insight into the nature of my mind, specifically why I often feel so out of touch with the present moment. Let me explain.
Before the concert began I had doubts about attending. Classical Indian vocal music has never sparked my interest because of it's complex beats and rhythms. Music like all art either inspires you or it doesn't.
Having this doubt set the stage for disappointment, or did it? As the music began I tried so hard to find interest. The more I tried the worse I felt. My mind was jumping all over the place. I tried one technique after another to bring myself in the music, but I failed miserably. The thought of having attended this entire concert without any fulfillment brought a feeling of bitterness. What was I to do?
Roughly three quarters into the performance I asserted my will power towards concentrating with my entire being, determined to push aside ALL! doubtful and fickle minded thoughts. I gazed at the fingers of the harmonium player determined to be aware only of the movement of his fingers. As I stared with intensity the rays of my mind gathered, creating a calming sensation. The present moment began to awaken. I was nipping unwanted thoughts at the bud, not allowing them to sink in and influence my emotional body. As I continued this process the music came into the forefront and I effortlessly became absorbed. I was winning the battle against my fickle mind.
Before the concert began I had doubts about attending. Classical Indian vocal music has never sparked my interest because of it's complex beats and rhythms. Music like all art either inspires you or it doesn't.
Having this doubt set the stage for disappointment, or did it? As the music began I tried so hard to find interest. The more I tried the worse I felt. My mind was jumping all over the place. I tried one technique after another to bring myself in the music, but I failed miserably. The thought of having attended this entire concert without any fulfillment brought a feeling of bitterness. What was I to do?
Roughly three quarters into the performance I asserted my will power towards concentrating with my entire being, determined to push aside ALL! doubtful and fickle minded thoughts. I gazed at the fingers of the harmonium player determined to be aware only of the movement of his fingers. As I stared with intensity the rays of my mind gathered, creating a calming sensation. The present moment began to awaken. I was nipping unwanted thoughts at the bud, not allowing them to sink in and influence my emotional body. As I continued this process the music came into the forefront and I effortlessly became absorbed. I was winning the battle against my fickle mind.
It brought me joy knowing that I have the ability to will myself into any given moment. I see this as a bridge, a stepping stone to the ever present NOW!
OM Shanti Shanti Shanti
Trataka
(Technique for developing concentration)
